Things are busy around here. Never a dull moment as I'm running from the baby to the potty, to the sink to wash my hands, to the changing table, to the sink again, to the cheerios, to laugh at a funny face, to the cheerios on the floor, to the washing machine and the soiled onsies, to the banged chin that needs a kiss, to the crying baby in the next room, to the boy that needs me to read a book, to the dishes, to nurse the baby, to make the bed, to the potty, to the sink again, to burp the babe, to ......are you catching my drift?
I'm finding that I'm running around my apartment most of the time, trying to fill up the tank in this lovable little toddler and care for my newborn and be a good help-mate to my hard working man. It's a full time job, and to do a good job takes grace, prayer, hard work, diligence, and organization. There, I said it, "organization". It's been a word I've loathed. That I've tried to rebel from. I used to live my life crying out, "spontaneity is the life for me! It's much more fun and free!" Well, I recant those words now. It's been impossible to live like that with these two little children, and when I do live that way, I'm finding that frustration and impatience set in quickly (and I don't do a very good job taking care of my husband this way either). What's free about that? I have discovered finally that freedom comes after I have done the dirty work of planning and organizing, whether that be the laundry and the meals or the putting my mind in the right place through prayer and the Word. It's only after I am organized that my family will be, and it's after my heart is right that i can take care of them the way they need to be taken care of.
When KC and I were dating, and even early on in our marriage, I remember specifically saying that I had never felt like such a "girl" before with all these new emotions and vulnerabilities and duties to care for the heart of a man. This changed me greatly. After having Colson I was overwhelmed with this new task of motherhood. I wrote this on the subject: "Never have I felt so right, so able, so in my place, so loved, or so capable of giving love as I do now." This new world of mother took on a new world of woman to me, of nurture. It took me away from me and pointed me somewhere out, caring entirely for another person. This made me a better wife and only added to my role there as lover, friend, and helper. I specifically remember being overwhelmed at this beautiful calling, and my home on this earth became something more, something more human and real and more valuable. Astonishing to me, this was only the beginning of a lifetime of giving.
And now, here, in my home and in my nurture are two little arrows and one incredibly strong and loving man. Now that my days are truly full of poop and pee and milk and spit up and more poop and messes every which way I turn my head, it's a glory! It's a glory because Jesus says, "And whoever gives one of these little ones only a cup of cold water in the name of a disciple, assuredly, I say to you, he shall by no means lose his reward." (Matthew 10:42). Giving a cup of cold water is Kingdom work, for Jesus' sake. Don't mind if I do. :)
When I'm feeling exasperated after sweeping a pan full of mess off of the floor for the 3rd time before dinner, or when the laundry pile turns into a self perpetuating monster, or when the baby won't stop grumbling, or when my toddler needs a day of one correction after another, I can be encouraged knowing that here and now, in the earthiness of this mess, is the glory of Kingdom living and work. I'm serving God right where I'm at. I'm building my house and enabling my husband to be the man God created him to be while shaping my boys to be Rumreys, Dragon Slayers, and to go forth from my nest with great fruit, for Kingdom work, for Jesus' sake. This work of woman, of wife, of mother, I'm discovering, is a work of sacrifice. Oh the glory and joy that are given to us when we embrace this giving work.